Single or married


What is better spiritually, being single or married

Single allows us to help others, Married can make us more stable and happier.

What is better, being Single or Married? There is no right or wrong answer for this question, it depends on each persons personality, ambition and karma. Generally speaking, if we want to serve the world then to have an intimate companion can hinder us. If we want a stable life or personal happiness, then a soul mate could be way to go.

Some methods advise you to stay single, others especially like mainstream religions prefer marriage and families. So which is better? That depends entirely on you. Everything has a cost and our minds are here to fool us thinking the opposite of what we do is best; if you are single then maybe you feel lonely or out-of-place in society. If attached with someone, then it’s not just your issues you need to deal with but your partners also. And partners carry baggage called friends, family and colleagues. With marriage comes responsibility which reduces your freedom and ability to practice long hours. So which is best, single or married. Lets look at the advantages and disadvantages of each.

The advantage of single life is more freedom and time for yourself. The disadvantage is by not sharing your love and life, by not rubbing shoulders with another, it can be more difficult to change ourselves or see our faults. If single and one really practices well, then it’s the best method….but mostly single people waste their time and feel restless because they do not have control of their minds.

The advantage of having a partner is they can be your mirror to see your own personality reflected back to you. They will help you to improve, as long as we do not drown in the karma. It’s pointless being rich if we do not give to others in need, so it’s pointless having love within ourselves without sharing with others.

Be careful before falling in love with your soul mate, date for a while and make sure you know the person very well. When you date, all seems rosy since you miss each other in-between and forget the bad times, but after marriage there is no more ‘missing’, we just see the other person’s faults day in and day out. Being in Love is wonderful, breaking up is not. It will affect your spiritual practice if your heart is broken, your focus will change and may take a long time to recover.

With relationships comes attachment, possession and betrayal. We may love a person and want to make them ours forever. Unfortunately, since the lover may not have reached a high level of enlightenment their love is extremely conditional and tainted with jealously and mistrust.  It will create a sort of prison for the one being loved as they must abide by the expectations of the love.  Some people can deal with it better than others.

In the olden days of some cultures, arranged couples had their star-charts matched avoiding big differences in personalities. Even if one was conditional or had some issue, as long as the other could absorb it then the relationship would still work. Passionate love at the beginning was sacrificed for sustainability, and often more love at the end. In our modern times couples want to feel some spark before commitment which is very good, but it would be wise to also check compatibility for the long-term.